Another Trip Around the Sun

As you read this on Monday, today is my birthday. I have never really “celebrated” my birthday as I have always been working at school (last year, graduation day hit on my birthday so I spent most of the day with grads preparing for the ceremony!) or celebrating other events/birthdays around this time. Mom’s birthday is the 23rd (she turns 92 this year!) and that has always meant more to me than my own. Two of her brothers turned 101 and 99 respectively in the last month so hopefully longevity is passed down on to the rest of the family!

I usually don’t do a lot of reflecting or introspection around my birthday but have probably done more of that this year than most. Some of that comes from being “retired” and the large life-change that has taken place in the last year. It’s easy to look back and think that I have had more life experiences in the past than I will have in the future. This can definitely be a bit depressing and mind-jarring but the last week has given me some reminders of the positives of another birthday as well.

I was able to gain a little perspective heading into my birthday as on Tuesday, I took a trip back to Newell and Cherokee-two places where I spent 17 years of my life-and was able to revisit locations that meant so much to me as well as people who have become life-long friends. On Saturday, I attended a wedding shower for a former player who was on my first team in Mason City and whose parents have become great friends. I was able to visit with a number of friends who were connected to my player and it was an awesome time of sharing stories and gaining appreciation for those that have been a part of my life.

As we get older, I think birthdays sometimes have a funny way of making us pause and reflect on life in general and what is to come. When we’re young, birthdays are all about excitement and what’s to come. When we are older, birthdays become more about the people in our lives, the relationships we’ve built, and how we can give back to others.

We have all lost people in our lives who passed away too young and who we miss every day. Hopefully, birthdays help us realize that every year is a gift—especially when you realize not everyone gets another one…It’s easy as we get older to complain about the numerous aches and pains, the slower pace of life, and how things used to be… they can be easy to complain about. But each sign of age is proof that we are still here, still in the game.

Birthdays definitely remind us of who we've been, but I have been trying to focus on what’s to come, what I can still accomplish, and who I can still positively impact. There’s no age where we magically have the perfect life. Every year just adds another chapter to the story and as long as we are alive, we need to keep adding chapters to our book.

When I was still teaching, kids would constantly ask: “how old are you?” My response was always-I am as old as I feel-some days I feel 18-some days I feel 80! Kids never liked that response but it’s a reminder that age is just a number! It ultimately is about our attitude and how we respond to our life and circumstances. I have known a number of people (my mom and uncles are perfect examples!) who always appeared younger than what they were because of their attitudes and how they treated others, while I’ve also know others who appeared much older than what they were. We often times can’t control the physical changes that come with getting older (like my increasing number of gray hairs!) but we can control so many other things-starting with our attitudes and our efforts.

I remember a quote on getting older from a favorite comedian from my youth, George Burns, who lived to 100 and in his late 70’s, had a revival in his career-winning an Academy Award for the movie The Sunshine Boys. He stayed active and is remembered more for his late career than his early career. His quote was “you can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.”

I love that quote and that mindset! A way to not getting old is finding ways to connect to younger people. I think coaching kids has helped me keep a more youthful mindset as they bring curiosity, wonder, enthusiasm, and a connection to what is going on in the world. They remind us to laugh, have fun, and not take life so seriously all the time. We all do that sometimes and young people can always give us a better perspective.

Another reflection I have had during this birthday time is that not everything (or everyone) deserves our energy. Be around people who light you up and make your day better. Don’t waste so much time on those who don’t. Do work that adds to your life, and not people or events that just drains you. Be intentional about where your time and energy go. We don’t always have to pretend that everything is great. It’s about choosing to stay positive and hopeful, even when things are hard. That mindset keeps you young, even as the candles on the cake move toward becoming a fire hazard!

One of the greatest blessings of getting older is experience. We’ve all traveled thousands of miles, learned hundreds of lessons, and created dozens of stories—these are not just for you. They’re meant to be shared. We have been through seasons others are just entering. We’ve failed and rebounded too many times to count. We’ve seen enough to know what matters—and what doesn’t. These are all things that need to be shared-not in a preaching or mightier than thou attitude way-but in a nurturing, supportive, caring way. I hope as we get older, we all look for ways to share the experiences and the blessings we have had. Don’t underestimate the power of your presence and your perspective! I see this every day as I continue my coaches’ mentoring work with the IGCA!

Birthdays are a chance for everyone to reflect on our lives as well as what is to come. So as I “celebrate” mine today, here’s what I am celebrating:

• Gratitude for the people in my life and the relationships I have built.

• Appreciation for reasonably good health and the ability to do things I want to do.

• Excitement for the power of giving back while moving forward.

• Thankfulness for each of you for reading this newsletter each week!

Whether you’ve got a birthday this month or not, I hope you take a moment to appreciate where you are—and to get excited about where you're still going. Age is just a number-keep living life and making the most of your opportunities!

Here’s to another trip around the sun for each of you! Let’s make it count! Have a great week!

Coach K