The Disease of Comparison

I’m sure many of you are like me and spend time each day on social media-be it Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tik Tok, or some other mode. I saw a statistic that said the average American spends 2 1/2 to 3 hours per day on social media. Are you average?! I’m certain some days I reach that level! I do not put much content on social media and truly love using it to see how friends and family are doing and what a great way to connect with people who have been a large part of my life in the past but life changes and distance keep us apart.

I must admit there are definitely times, especially when things aren’t going the best, that it is easy to see what others post and not feel some jealousy about what people are able to do, places they are able to see, and impact they are able to have. It’s easy to feel like we are either missing out on something or falling short because of what someone else is doing.

The question I have is, why do we constantly compare ourselves to everyone else, especially with regards to what other people have, what they do, how much money they have, etc. The more we let this happen, the more negative effects we will bring on ourselves.

Besides looking at social media, we know the disease of comparison happens in other walks of life as well. As a now former sports coach and AD, I can’t count the number of times athletes have expressed jealousy about the success of other athletes when they usually fail to see the time and effort that athlete has put in to achieve the success they have had. The same is true with coaches expressing the envy of other programs having “all the athletes” or the facilities that they don’t have.

When it comes to what other people have, what other people do, and how much money they make, constantly comparing ourselves to others will do nothing but mess with our attitude, our confidence, our view of others, and many other things. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others and focus on what we are doing and how we can make our lives better. If we believe in who we are, the possibilities of what we can do, and spent more time on our own improvement, we undoubtedly have a better chance of being happier. We need to stay true to our ourselves

Another way to work through the disease of comparison is to celebrate the success of others. What does it hurt for us to be truly happy for the success of others? We benefit in no way by being upset about how others are doing and instead could build up some positives, especially with others, if we are generally happen for their success. We should always let our family and friends know that we support them and are thrilled with the positives that are happening in their lives.

If you are still struggling with the disease of comparison, it may mean you are spending too much time on social media or too much time worrying about the successes of others. Take some time to make a list of all the positives you have going for you and things that others might be a bit jealous of you for. Having gratitude for what we have going for us often times can get us back to reality and make us realize things aren’t as bad as they seem. I used this strategy often times coaching when losses were piling up and it always helped my current frame of mind.

If we look close enough, we can all find people doing better than us so we need to have successful ways to deal with it. Focus on yourself, review how you use social media, express appreciation for others, and be grateful for what you have. These are no guarantees of success, but should leave you in a better position going forward. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side! Have a great week!

Coach K