Does Your Job Define You?

As the calendar turned to November last week, I was reminded of the constant changes we find in our lives and how the roles we play define who we are. Last Tuesday, I traveled with 2 great retired friends to Wisconsin to visit a friend and former colleague of ours who recently lost her husband after a long illness. It was an amazing day of laughs and rememberances of our days working together and the bond we had. None of us missed the work load or the challenges of teaching but all agreed that we missed the relationships and team aspect of working in a school. None of us are defined by the positions we held.

Also this week, I had an interesting interaction while going through a local drive through restaurant. As I approached the pay window, the worker said, “hey, aren’t you the women’s basketball coach??” When I mentioned I was now retired, she said, “I’m so sorry about that as you were so good for the team and you will be missed!” I honestly had no idea who that person was! 😃 

Shortly after that, I was at another business where a former volleyball player (she was not someone who played much and struggled with skills) who asked how volleyball was going and she proceeded to tell her co workers how I made her do burpies! 😆 She didn’t know I was retired either and wondered how I was doing without coaching.

This got me thinking about people’s perception of my life and how much of it is connected to titles I had or jobs I’ve had. When we are in the middle of our job-no matter what it is-we sometimes get so caught up in what we do and often times others associate us with our position and not the many other things and principles we are about. Our job positions may change, but our values and what’s truly important to us should not.

A few weeks ago, the head coach of the Virginia men’s basketball team, Tony Bennett, abruptly announced his retirement right before the season started. I have long admired Coach Bennett-always a class act-always respectful, and always about building a quality culture and environment for student athletes. This was definitely a questionable decision with regards to timing but in his press conference, he had an interesting analogy.

In his statement, he mentioned that we are all just renting our jobs, roles, and titles. "I have been here as 15 years as the head coach...this position has been on loan and it's time to give it back...I've given everything I can for 15 years." In other words, when we leave a job, that role will be filled by someone else, and the work will continue. We do not own positions and are only paying “rent” until we move on to something else. Bennett went on to talk about being more than just a coach but that he was looking forward to other roles, especially family ones, that he had not had as much time for because of coaching.

This is a good reminder for all of us…yes, our jobs are important, yes they deserve our very best efforts, but in no way should they define us and keep us from focusing on what is truly important-our families, our beliefs, and our values are ultimately what should define us. We don’t own these positions and we should always leave positions in a better spot than when we took them and not have any regrets when we walk away.

I think it is natural for people to associate us with the work we do and personally, being recognized for the coaching and teaching work that I have done is gratifying, but also isn’t a true measure of who I am. I would hope most people would see that and I think when you step away from a position, the other qualities you brought to the position would be remembered more than just the job you did.

If you are still working and stepped away from your position now, what would people associate with you? Do you have the right perspective on what you do? All we can do is do the right things, uphold our core values, and treat people the right way. At the end of the day, that’s what really matters. Have a great week!

Coach K