Handling Hard Better

Life and sports are full of challenges. Whether you're an athlete in the middle of a tough season, a coach leading a struggling team, or just navigating life's daily obstacles, difficulty is inevitable. Duke Women’s Basketball Coach Kara Lawson (whose team made the final 8 of the women’s tournament this year) gave a powerful speech at a practice a few years about how success isn’t about avoiding hard things—it’s about getting better at handling them. The speech went viral and I’ve linked it at the end of the newsletter-it is well worth a couple of minutes to watch!

The message is basically this: we often wish for things to get easier, but the truth is, life doesn’t work that way. Instead of hoping for less adversity, we should focus on getting stronger, more resilient, and better at handling whatever comes our way. We usually learn more during times of struggle than we do when everything is going well!

We all need to realize that hard never goes away—it just changes. Every new level in sports, business, and life brings new challenges. Instead of waiting for things to become easy, we need to accept that hard is part of growth and commit to improving how we handle it. The NCAA tournaments give us great examples of how every team faces big challenges when trying to make the Final Four: usually the teams that handle their challenges the best, make it the farthest. Championship teams don’t have fewer challenges: they get better at overcoming them.

One challenge for all of us that Coach Lawson points out is that we all need to stop wishing for easy and instead start preparing for the hard times. Instead of wishing for easier circumstances, focus on developing skills, habits, and a mindset that allows us to navigate difficulty with confidence. I don’t see great athletes wishing for weaker opponents; they train to become strong enough to beat the best and take that on as a challenge. The ability to push through challenges isn’t something people are just born with—it’s something built through experience, discipline, and repetition. The great sports coaches do an awesome job of teaching their athletes resilience and working through the tough times while establishing a “next play” mentality.

How do those of us who don’t have coaches teaching us about resilience and pushing through challenges learn to handle hard better? We know it’s easier said than done!

Coach Lawson’s advice would be one of my favorite phrases: control what you can control: let go of what you can’t. We all know that life is unpredictable. Instead of stressing over things out of our control, focus on how we respond. As a coach, early in my career, I spent too much time trying to control officials’ call when I should have spent more time controlling the team’s preparation and response to adversity. I’m sure each of you can think of a time when you worried about things out of your control and could have focused more on positive solutions.

Another lesson from Coach Lawson’s speech is that hard moments build mental toughness. Every time you push through a challenge, you build mental toughness—a trait that separates good from great. When life gets hard, we need to remind ourselves: this is an opportunity to get stronger. Instead of avoiding challenges, embrace them as chances to grow and getting better at handling tough situations.

Ultimately, it all goes back to controlling our preparation, attitude, and response—those are always within our power.

We all know that hard isn’t going away. Whether you're on the court, in the workplace, or just facing life’s everyday struggles, challenges will always be there. But you can get better at handling them. The next time you’re faced with something difficult, instead of complaining, ask yourself: How can I handle this hard situation better?

Because the people who succeed—whether in sports, business, or life—aren’t the ones who wait for easy. They’re the ones who handle hard better. Have a great week!

Coach K