More Than the Scoreboard

One of the things I’ve always appreciated most about coaching is the relationships formed along the way—especially with other coaches. This is something I missed in my year off from coaching and appreciate more now that I am back coaching. There’s a unique brotherhood (and sisterhood) that develops when people share the same challenges, pressures, and responsibilities. We compete fiercely between the lines, but outside of them, there’s often mutual respect, honest conversation, and genuine connection.

It’s not uncommon to see two coaches battle for 32 minutes, fight for every possession, and then stand together afterward (and even before the game!) talking about families, careers, or the realities of the job. There’s no holding grudges—just understanding. We know what it takes to prepare a team, manage expectations, deal with criticism, and make hard decisions in real time. That shared experience creates a bond that outsiders may not fully understand.

I was reminded of this bond on Saturday as we had a road game after a challenging Friday night. The opposing coach is someone I know well and have great respect for. We talked for probably 15 minutes when we arrived-mostly about life, how our seasons were going, and the challenges we faced. The game was hard fought (we won!) and we had a cordial conversation when the game and there was much respect despite being on opposite sides.

After the game, I noticed that the opposing coach from Friday night and our opponent from next Friday’s coach were at the game and came right over to talk. We had similar conversations about life and how things were going. There was not one negative word said and anyone listening on the conversation would have thought we were old friends and clearly not “enemies” when it comes to basketball.

What stands out to me is that even in such a competitive profession, there’s often empathy among those who wear the same whistle. Coaches understand that today’s opponent could be tomorrow’s colleague—or someone offering support during a tough transition. The game brings us together even as it pits us against one another.

Coaching and competing in sports teaches us how to compete without losing perspective-to fight hard for our teams while still respecting the person across the sideline. It teaches us to care deeply about winning while caring even more about people.

I try to stay out of politics but I always wonder why our political leaders, political parties, and people in general who have different perspectives and viewpoints can’t act and treat each other like coaches do. If they would look at the situations, they would see that they probably have more in common with their “enemies” than they do differences. Ultimately, you should realize how we all are in the same boat when it comes to life and all have our own trials and tribulations that we need to overcome.

In sports, when the lights go off and the season ends, it’s rarely the final score that lasts. It’s the conversations, the shared battles, and the relationships built along the way that really matter. In a profession defined by results, it’s that sense of connection that often matters most—and keeps so many coaches coming back year after year. It’s my hope that our world in general could look for more opportunities for shared experiences and finding more common ground instead of focusing on differences. I hope you are doing that with your life experiences and treating the “opposition” with the respect and understanding they deserve.

Have a great week!

Coach K