The Man in the Arena

As I mentioned last week, I have been spending a lot of time this fall mentoring and working with new volleyball coaches as part of the IGCA mentoring program. Almost all of the coaches I am working with are brand new coaches and all were volleyball players at one point. It is safe to say that transitioning from a player to a coach is a real challenge as each role sees the sport in a very different way. It takes time to “see things” as a coach as unless you are around practices and matches, you truly don’t know what is happening and what it takes to put a team together.

I was thinking of this as a couple of the coaches I am working with have had issues with parents-one has parents emailing ideas on a daily basis and the coach is struggling to get them to understand that it isn’t helping the situation. Unfortunately, it is common for coaches to have parents who feel like they have something to add, especially when it comes to something about their child. My advice to the coach was remind the parents of the appropriate times to contact a coach and what should be talked about. Communication should always be between player and coach first, and if something can’t be solved, then something could be set up with the coach.

This led me to thinking about a bigger problem in activities today and that is the feeling that anyone watching an activity has the right and ability to comment either on social media or directly to a coach with what he/she should be doing with a team. Clearly, people are allowed to have opinions about teams but the level of intensity and emotion that seems to be there is the highest it has ever been.

This reminded me of one of my favorite references when it comes to the role of other’s opinions that are expressed about activities. President Theodore Roosevelt delivered a speech entitled “Citizenship in a Republic” in Paris on April 23, 1910 which is widely quoted because of a part of the speech that references people who face criticism from others. I believe this fits in our world almost 115 years later. If you haven’t seen it, here is the part of the speech I am referencing:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

One of the things Roosevelt is clearly saying here that those who take on challenging situations and put themselves out there deserve a great deal of credit. Those of us who do that should only be concerned with the opinions of those who have been in our situation and know what is going on. It is easy to get caught up in the opinions of others, but does it truy matter?

One time when I was having issues with people criticizing my coaching, I had a veteran coach give me some sage advice: why would you take criticism from someone who you would not seek advice from?? He mentioned listening to what people have to say, pulling in the parts that may help your work, but then moving on and making decisions I feel is best with the evidence that I have. This has always stuck with me and why I think I handled criticism from others as well as possible.

Head coaches in particular are truly “in the arena” and in a position to face critcism whatever they do. Trust me-hearing these things are no fun and can be stressful. It’s important to realize that we are more than just a position we hold and that if we are putting in the effort, listening to those who truly matter, and make fact based and morally based decisions, then outside voices shouldn’t affect us. I’ve always felt like open communication is vital and we do need to be able to defend decisions that we make.

I am reminded of how different the world is for coaches this weekend as with all of the different games going on, there were literally thousands of social media posts blaming coaches for losses, listing better ideas that coaches could be using, and in some posts, asking for a coach to be fired….despite teams being 3 or 4 games into the season….what inside information do these people have (besides watching games on TV) that shows their opinion matters and they know more than the coach “in the arena”?

I think most coaches understand what they are getting into when they start coaching and realize criticism is part of the job. A sometimes forgotten aspect of this is the effect of criticism on family members and close friends of coaches. They don’t have anything to do with the coaching but still are an integral part of coaches’ lives. I remember when I took the job at Mason City. The newspaper put an article in the paper about my hire and online, there were some comments and one comment criticized the hire and how a small school coach could succeed as a coach. The person also wondered whether I was even a good teahcer and that’s what was really needed! Shortly after that came out, I had a call….from my mom! She read the comment and couldn’t believe someone was questioning the hire. I remember her saying, “how can they say that? You are a great teacher and coach.” I told her not to worry-it would all be ok, and there would be more criticism to come…both of which came true! 😀 I would hope that people who publicly criticize coaches understand the stress that adds to those around the coach as well and something they don’t deserve.

This is clearly a free country and people are entitled to their own opinions. However, as we are seeing in our current political environment, words matter, and words that could incite violence or harm to others should never be acceptible. Let’s look to show more empathy for those “in the arena” and if we are willing to criticize, then maybe we should put our hat in the ring to coach or to run for political office. It okay to disagree without being disagreeable. I hope we will all remember this not only during the sports seasons we love but also in the days leading up to the election. Be thankful for the people willing to step into the arena and take the criticism and scrutiny they know is to come.

Have a great week!

Coach K