We All Need Perspective

I have spent quite a bit of time on the road the last month traveling to various parts of Iowa to watch the volleyball matches of the first year coaches I am working with through the IGCA mentoring program as well check in with them and visit about the progress of their seasons. None of my mentees is having what I would call a great season record wise but all are seeing growth since the beginning of the season which is so vital when you are coaching young people.

One of the areas I have spent time with the mentees on is dealing with failure, particularly losing matches as a new coach. Every coach I am working with is a former volleyball player and all are very competitive and want to win every match. Dealing with a loss is always a challenge and many coaches are also working with athletes who aren’t as competitive as them and are still developing their skills to play at the high school level.

When losses come up and coaches express frustration with the results, I always try to come back to what the purpose of coaching is about: to give student athletes a great learning experience and an environment that is full of learning, growth, and fun. As coaches, it’s vital to focus on the process and the needs of the team in order to fulfill the purpose they started the season with. Wins and losses should never be the most important priority, especially as a first year coach.

This point was driven home by an email I received from a mentee on Friday whose team has struggled and when I saw them play, we had a good chat about the season and keeping the right perspective. “SUPER exciting news! We played a team ast night who is a ranked team (and definitely the best team we've played this season). While we didn't compete on the scoreboard, I've never seen my girls play so well. We engaged in some actual rallies with them and made them work a little harder than they expected to! It felt like SUCH a win as a coach. My girls came in to play as hard as they could and they have never played better. They kept good attitudes and had fun the entire time, even though we couldn't compete on score. That is exactly what I've been trying to get them to understand as we play some of these great teams, and last night they finally did it. It was so much fun!”

How refreshing for a new coach to have this perspective on a match where they lost by a big margin but saw large improvement in a number of areas. Can you imagine how the team would have reacted if the coach (or families for that matter) had gotten upset with them on the loss and not celebrated the positives that occurred? This perspective is so hard especially in the middle of a season and when you are a new coach worried about how others will view you.

I wonder how many athletes and parents have this perspective on the sports they participate in? Wouldn’t the activities experience for everyone involved be better if they did?

A major goal of the IGCA mentoring program I have helped develop and begin with new head coaches is to provide them with a support system to work through the challenging times and provide some perspective as veteran coaches who have been there and done that. I was very fortunate to have hall of fame coach Jody Maske from Newell-Fonda as an unofficial mentor and confidant when I started coaching and always valued having people I could reach out to when times were tough. I feel like leading the IGCA mentoring program is providing me a chance to give back to others who may not have that support system in place and who may not have anyone to reach out to. We are hoping this keeps coaches in the profession and also leads to a better experience for all kids involved in activities. It is definitely a work in progress and participants need to be willing to work with a mentor as well as willing to reach out when needed.

Do you have someone you can reach out to about your job and even your life when you need it to provide support and perspective? It’s vital that we have someone who will be upfront and honest with us while providing a listening ear as well as perspectives we may not have considered. It starts with being willing to reach out to others and a willingness to be vulnerable and understanding we don’t have all the answers. If you don’t have that person/people in your life, it’s never too late to start! Have a great week!

Coach K