What You Allow Becomes the Standard

I was reminded this week of something simple—but incredibly powerful.

On Wednesday night, we hosted an IGCA mentoring session and had Robin Brand, head softball coach at Cornell College and Mount Vernon High School, speak with our coaches. The topic was building positive relationships with parents, and something that really stood out was her message on standards and expectations-specifically, the idea of “above the line” and “below the line” behavior.

To specify those terms-above the line means being accountable, respectful, solution-focused.
Below the line means using excuses, pointing fingers of blame, showing negativity.

It was a great reminder that every program, every team, and every leader is defined by what they allow.

Not what they say.
Not what they intend.
But what they consistently accept.

Establishing standards and clear expectations as a coach or leader of any “team” isn’t complicated—but it does require intention.

It starts with being clear on the following items:

• What do we expect?

• How do we treat each other?

• What does accountability look like?

Then comes the part that’s harder—reinforcing those standards when it matters most and responding in an appropriate manner, especially when emotions are high, when it’s uncomfortable, and when it would be easier to let something slide.

Because every time we ignore something that falls “below the line,” we’re sending a message: this behavior is okay, which only encourages the person to continue the below the line behavior. And over time, that becomes the standard.

The same is true in building relationships with parents. When expectations are clearly communicated early—and reinforced consistently—it creates trust. People know where things stand. They understand the “why” behind decisions. And even in difficult moments, there’s a foundation to work from.

The best programs and the best leaders don’t leave this to chance.

They are intentional about what they value.
They communicate it clearly.
And they live it daily.

It’s not always perfect—but it’s consistent.

The IGCA mentor session was a good reminder for me that standards don’t just show up-they’re built, reinforced, and protected over time.

Because in the end, what we allow—good or bad—always becomes the standard. We must deal with those situations appropriately and if we have the right, positive relationship in place, we can turn the incident into a learning situation and make the future so much better.

And that’s something worth getting right.

In closing, thanks to those of you who reached out about the podcast-I greatly appreciate your feedback! I am planning to open the you tube site up this week and get the next episode up and running by next weekend. If you have a topic or guest idea for the podcast, send it my way. You support is greatly appreciated!

Have a great week!

Coach K