When It Doesn’t Happen How or When You Want It To

I spent a part of my weekend watching the NFL draft. I probably didn’t watch as much this year as my life-long team, the Vikings, only had a few picks. However one of the intriguing stories that developed was that of Shedeur Sanders, son of NFL Hall of Famer Deion Sanders. He was once projected as a top-three pick in the draft. However, he experienced a large drop, eventually being selected 144th overall in the fifth round by the Cleveland Browns. It was amazing to watch someone who was supposed to be selected within the first five picks originally have to wait so long to be drafted.

I was very interested to see Shedeur’s reaction as his father is widely known for his opinionated style and I expected some anger and bitterness to come from the family. Instead, video was posted of the family dancing and celebrating the selection by Cleveland. Here is the quote that came out from Shedeur:

“Thank you to the Browns organization for giving me a chance. That’s all I need.”

How many of us in such a highly public circumstance, would have responded like that? He is going to lose millions of dollars because of the drop in where Sanders was selected, but he chose to focus on the future and the opportunity he had. I hope he follows through with these words and has a great career, proving everyone wrong about where he should have been drafted.

We all know there are plenty of stories of other athletes who were drafted later than they thought and used the disappointment to go on to do great things. Tom Brady was a 6th round pick and has become the goat of professional football. He used that chip on his shoulder as motivation throughout a legendary career. Where you start isn’t where you finish.

Michael Jordan didn’t make his varsity basketball team as a sophomore. Instead of quitting or giving up, he used the setback to fuel his work ethic—and became one of the greatest athletes of all time. I have used this at times with athletes who want more playing time or want to start-they don’t control their playing time, but they control their effort and attitude and if they have the right attitude and work ethic, the opportunity will come eventually.

This made me think back to times where I had life opportunities that I thought I had earned/deserved, did not get, and then how those turned out. During my teaching career in Mason City, I had begun to branch out into more leadership responsibilities within the district. Our district implemented data team coaches in the district and our superintendent at the time met with me, complimented my work, and asked that I apply for a position as my skills were needed in the position. After interviewing well ( I thought!), I was surprised to receive a call from the supt. on a Friday afternoon (right before a huge basketball game!) that I did not get a position….

I was incredibly frustrated and questioned why I was not hired. The people that were hired were outstanding educators which eased the pain, and eventually I realized I would not have been the best fit for those positions. A few years later, the district implemented the state’s Teacher, Leadership, and Compensation (TLC) program which would put instructional coaches in each of the district’s buildings and coaches would support teachers with teaching and learning. This fit in perfectly with what my longer term goals were, so I applied for a position and ended up getting hired! I originally thought I would be placed in my middle school building but ended up in the intermediate building. This was a blessing as I was able to spend the last 8 years of my career as an instructional coach in an awesome building with amazing colleagues. Two years in, the district added an additional coach who became my tag team partner and a valued friend so it all worked out in the end!

I just had a recent example of original disappointment turning to a better opportunity: upon retirement, I applied for a new position with the Iowa High School Athletic Directors Association which would have involved mentoring new AD’s around the state. Although I had only been an AD for two years, I had a passion for supporting people in their journey and thought I was a perfect fit. Unfortunately, I did not get one of the positions and after I saw the retired AD’s that were hired, I knew they were a better fit than me and were more deserving.

This led me into thinking about the need for mentoring for sports coaches and made me reach out to the Iowa Girls Coaches Association about starting a mentoring program for new coaches. They loved the idea and gave me the freedom to start a program. Less than a year later, over 50 coaches and 15 retired coaches have been positively impacted by mentoring and we will be releasing plans shortly for a multi tiered mentoring program that will give opportunities for support for any coach who wants it. I would not have done this without the rejection of the AD mentoring position!

I’m betting most of you have had a similar experience in your own life. Sometimes the position or opportunity we thought was "perfect" doesn’t work out because something better is coming. It definitely feels like rejection, but often, it’s just redirection toward a better fit, a better culture, or an opportunity that truly matches our strengths. In relationships, sports, and life, getting turned down or overlooked can feel personal—but often it’s not about our worth. It’s about timing, fit, or circumstances we can’t control. Our value should never be determined by someone else's "yes" or "no."

We all know that life rarely moves exactly on our timeline. Success in something isn’t always about talent or opportunity—it’s about resilience, patience, and faith that what’s meant for you won’t miss you. It’s also about what you do with the opportunities that you have. So the next time you don’t get what you want, when you want it, remember: the story isn’t over. It’s just developing differently than we planned—and sometimes, that’s the best thing that could happen. Have a great week!

Coach K